Shouts of An Underdog

Why can't I..
..cry?
Be joyous at a moment,
then weep at another..?
why can't I shout,
why c-c-can't I stutter?
why can't I think out loud,
then let madness fill my gutter,
why can't I..
paint my own corpse on the walls of my room?
or build my own city, then bring it to its doom..
why can't I..
have a little chat with a voice in my head,
then play hide and seek,
with a non-existing friend?
..

why can't I,
Express my madness on paper,
then set it on fire..
hang a man on paper,
then set him on fire,
execute his wife on paper,
and a forty family member..
then set the pen,
the stack of paper,
and the whole dead family,
on a burning hell-fire..

 why can't I be anger,
why is wrath a sin?
why do I have so much hunger
for a stupid happy "fin"

 why can't I be madness,
be happiness and love,
why can't I be a raindrop,
that only stays above..

why should I kill the self in "my"?
and then ignore the calls of a ninty nine "I"?
why do we never accept?
why must we all deny?
why does the world insist..
that we all must..
 die.