See when it came to writing lately:
ALL THE FUCKING METAPHORS SOUND USELESS AND USED,
ALL THE POEMS UP HERE ARE CRINGEWORTHY,
all the ones about your eyes,
your face, your lips, your thoughts,
All the similes of how you walk,
how you talk, and how it all puts down this...
this pile of piles of intersecting loopholes, newspaper shreds of crosswords solved wrong and explosives full of damp gunpowder that fails at being it self,
how it puts down this linguistically poor sad excuse of a metaphor into...
(I DONT KNOW THE WORD)
see that's the thing:
It feels as though all the language I learned since I let out my first unintelligible shout of objection is severly inadequate and that no matter how many dictionaries you go through you still wont find a word that says what you want to say.
I KNOW that words are suppoused to be mere complexes of voices that can hold any meaning but that's not how it is
how it is is how no word has enough syllables to hold off what weighs on this che- mind.
And then all the words I always were familiar with turned themselves into tongue twisters I only heard for the first time and my tongue grew heavy with speaking hardships
Thats why every I love you I say sounds less like a word and more like a sigh,
because I love you doesn't really say it.
I love you doesn't even live up to the standards of a phrase that would say it.
but I settle down for what little that tiny teaspoon shovels off my thoughts because the closest thing to how I feel about you is holding up a dr.Suess' book everytime I look at you and my heart feels as if it's flooding in a strawberry milkshake and my dark face flushes into darker shades of red and quoting something irrelevant to the context of love.
So I'm not sure if this makes sense to you but when I say I love you what I mean to say is...
"walter Witter called a waiter: "Waiter, over here!
I want some water, waiter. Water, waiter! Is that clear?
The waiter brought some water. Walter Witter shouted: "WRONG!
This water's really watered-down! I like my water strong
The waiter brought more water. Walter Witter was upset.
"This water's dry!" said Walter. "I like my water wet!
Bring me wetter water, waiter!" Walter Witter said.
The waiter brought a pitcherful and poured it on his head."
you feel me?
